On December 25th, I declared here publicly that I Will Dance Again. And as with all resolutions, there was immediate response to dissuade me from this decision. This response came in the form of (possibly my own body) rejecting the idea of being ready for fitness.

I was laid out on my back for a week in agony, unable to move much at all. Yet still I persisted. I persisted as:

enemies in the right direction

“If I have learned anything from video games, it is that when you meet enemies, it means you are going in the right direction.”

I persisted by adjusting my eating habits as I have chosen to do. It hasn’t worked as quickly as I would like, I am very fond of food and eating in general. It’s one of my favorite things. But, I have partaken of this too much for my sedentary lifestyle as a writer.

But, I am thrilled that here on the almost eve of my New Year’s Resolution to journey toward better dancing, I have cut back my food considerably.

I am hesitant to say how exactly, as my body is weird and I don’t know anyone else whose body works like mine. Please do not feel that I am advocating this particular dietary habit for anyone else. This is simply how I am working with my odd bod.

I drink mostly water.

I have always been less inclined to eat in the mornings and I know everyone says that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and I agree. But for me, when I eat breakfast my stomach gets the impression that it should eat all day. And as my purpose for this week between Christmas and New Years was to get down to be able to fast… for I believe that careful fasting is good for both body and soul, I therefore, drank only water until I was so hungry that I felt compelled to eat, which usually happened around 1 pm. Then I made up a smoothie with fruit and veggies, almond milk, yogurt, and a protein metabolism booster. I drank this into the afternoon until that growly time.

For years, my body has incessantly wanted to inhale, ingest, and devour every food item in my reach between the hours of 4 pm and 6 pm. Often longer in the winter. And most days, I would comply. So in order to try and regain control of myself over my own body, I have slowly cut back to one smoothie a day, and one meal a day, lots of water and because I was in great pain from my hip being out of alignment, also, lots of rest.

I have benefited from the rest and two chiropractic appointments and a professional massage. Still great pain, even with Midol or Tylenol, until suddenly yesterday, the pain just stopped. There is still a stiff soreness today that I’m working through, but I can walk again!

This brings me to today. I hope to replace my one meal with another smoothie. I honestly don’t have much faith in my ability to fast completely from food for even 24 hours. I’m working up to that. But not right now.

Food wise, with the new year, I will be transitioning into more water, less processed sugars, and more raw foods. (Paleo-esque). Realistically though, I live and care for an older lady and also help with meals for her daughter (my bestie)… so these food choices I am making for myself need to work around others, too.

I hope to do better than I did before. That is my goal.

I’m not trying to suddenly burst onto this rigorous diet… nothing in my life is rigorous, except the attitude and abandon with which I live. I’m a free thinking, wild woman, writer, artist, performer, and director. I go with it. So, I’m going with the journey of moving toward improvement.

I have still been spending 15 minutes daily, carefully doing a Pilates/yoga stretching work out… and it has helped my back and hurt a lot. Don’t worry, I know what my body can take. I’m 44 freaking years old. I have been intimately listening to the way my body works for a long time now.

I am a dancer. I will dance again. As this requires getting rid of these fat rolls and enhancing overall body performance, I am glad to say, I’m finally ready to go there. I’m doing it; already.

Here’s to keeping this up all year long… 2016!

Bond slave tattoo

Oh, yeah… As I’m a highly spiritual person, I will also say that much of this resting time was taken up in mediation and prayers. Meditation is how I get through managing my body. It’s loud, my body is, and it complains a lot. So I need to set my focus elsewhere to avoid being annoyed and giving it to my selfish lustful demands… You have no idea how much I lust food and sitting on my butt all day long.

Here’s to mastering our selves. Elohim is Master of me.