The greatest thing my Elohim (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit GOD) has done for me is to deny me the ability to be Proud.
I don’t mean the good pride that comes with recognizing your high value, favor, and work well done in the sight of God and man. I mean the pride that divides and causes us to look down on others, considering ourselves to be better than someone else.
My Elohim has graciously, oh so graciously, denied me the ability to think I am better than anyone else:-
I was diagnosed mixed-state, multi-cycling Bipolar II with severe anxiety and a devastatingly well-developed sex addiction. In other words, I was completely off my rocker and bat-poop crazy. I have been an adulterer. I have been a whore. I have sold myself and given myself away for the sake of ease and not wanting to fight. I have been beaten and shattered to the very core of my soul. I have cheated, I have denied, I have deceived, I have stolen, I have betrayed, I have left behind. I have crawled under the darkest rock and hidden away from all who needed me simply because I was no longer able to take care of even myself. I have lost. I have been stolen away. I have destroyed and I have been destroyed.
But, my story doesn’t end there.
God’s grace and mercy took pity on me and favored me.
He restored me to Himself when I was finally at the depths of my very end. He healed me. Healing has come to me in miraculous ways! Physically, I am no longer controlled by the imbalance of chemicals and hormones of Bipolar. In my soul (mind, will, and emotions), I now have peace over past anxiety. I have contentment and purity where I once was ravaged by the passions of my body. In my spirit, I now have strength to fight the battles I know are mine and the discernment to walk away from the battles that are not mine. I now walk in the light; I dance, play, run, and laugh in the Light of Restoration! I am restoring lost relationships and speaking peace over those relationships that continue broken by the choice of another. I am found in my destiny. I am living my dream life!! I am restored. I am returned to joy. I now am re-created and spend every day creating beautiful, new life.
I’ve been redeemed. So, you see. I can never claim to be better than anyone else. I can never claim to have done anything in my life that is good or beautiful apart from God. He has graciously allowed me, one with whom selfish pride is an intrinsic part of my natural self, to be selfless.
I still must fight this battle with my self, every day. Bad temper, selfish pride, and lust of passions continue to try and defeat me. But greater is the character of Elohim in me, than the character of the one who deceives.
I seek Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control in all my daily moments. I pursue this with all my strength of being. And when I fall or fail, Elohim lifts me in His Grace and sets me on my feet again. He restores my soul. Surely Grace and Mercy will follow me all the days of my life and the atmosphere that I live and breathe is the very Presence of God, forever and ever, AMEN.