Due to the wonder of modern science in healthcare and surgery, I consider myself privileged to have seen the world from two opposing viewpoints.
I have, at separate times, been considered both socially unattractive and socially attractive. Let me share my insights from this.
When you are considered socially unappealing from a physical perspective then you can feel like you have all this cool self to offer but no one seems to care because the outward physical repels too much, so no one notices. (Feeling you have nothing to offer is a different topic I won’t address here).
When you are considered socially appealing from a physical perspective, you can feel like you have all this cool self to offer but no one seems to care because the outward physical distracts too much, so no one notices.
At what point do we allow ourselves to “get over” what is going on outside so we may discover the true soul beneath?
We are human and in that, we are by nature, strongly influenced by outward appearance. It is a sign of maturity when you can look at the whole being. I’m not advocating ignoring the outward completely. Physical attraction is important, especially in a relationship involving commitment and intimacy with sex. What I am advocating is growth to move beyond just the physical and incorporate the whole being of a person.
When you meet, or just look at another person, please consider that they are not just someone you would or would not “tap”. People are not just for you to dis, push off, and reject; nor are they a thing for you to not be able to wait to get them alone and do stuff to.
Every single human being is a precious, unique soul. Every. One.
So next time you look at someone and turn up your lip at their outer shell or imagine doing things you want to with that outer shell…
Stop, drop, and roll over your thoughts.
Stop, listen to their soul and collaborate with them.
Stop and hammer away your prejudiced preconceptions, and finally,
Stop, and for the name and sake of LOVE… know we are all valuable and worthy of acceptance beyond just our physical shell.
I had a prominent under-bite all through my early years. It wasn’t until the misalignment of my teeth hinted at a future possibility of dentures that I was encouraged to make a drastic change. At age 31 I embarked upon a journey that included 2.5 years in braces plus orthodontic surgery. My bottom jaw was carefully broken on the left side and adjusted to a more central positioning. My upper jaw was cut completely off my skull, a wedge of bone cut away and removed, then the upper jaw was stapled back into a more balanced position. I had my mouth wired shut for 6 weeks of liquid food only and then another 4 weeks of soft food only. All in all it took about three years and approximately $11,000.
It is the best health decision I’ve made to date. I can now bite food correctly as my teeth didn’t meet before, and I am often complimented on having a beautiful smile. I consider my orthodontist and oral surgeon as great artists and I love their work.
But, at 34yrs I was drastically transformed from someone that received very little attention (unless I over compensated as I often did, being the extrovert that I am); to someone that strangers stopped and did an appreciative double take to look at again in passing. Yes, I noticed this and at first I had no idea what to do with it. Where once I had to work for male attention, suddenly men were falling over themselves to talk to me… WTH??? I didn’t change. I was still the same me. It was just my outside that had adjusted.
This was a defining event in my journey. I am grateful for the soul growth it taught me… and, yes, I am vain. I do like the attention. But I am so much MORE than just the outside. As is everyone.